Friday, October 11, 2013


Family. This one word can stir up many feelings. Some good and some painful. Family is where one should feel safe, accepted and loved. In Psalm 68:6, it says, "God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." (NIV)  
I have lived every part of this verse. I have been the rebellious one who thirst for the comforts of acceptance and love. And I have been the lonely who was placed in a loving family. I have been accepted, loved and very well cared for.   We have studied God's Word together, eaten together, cried together, laughed together and prayed together.  As I begin this new journey in my life, I will leave this family (geographically only) behind. My heart breaks as the day of my departure draws closer. Yes, we will stay in touch via email.  But it won't be the same. I will miss their physical presence. I will miss babysitting their precious girls. I will miss cooking for them. I will miss praying with them. I will miss just being with them. They accepted me and included me as part of their family and I will be forever thankful. 

The above paragraph was written in July. I never finished it. I left for Suriname, August 2, 2013. I have never in my life felt such peace. I can honestly say I am exactly where I am suppose to be. That certainly hasn't stopped my insecurities, but I have a deep settled peace knowing God has placed me here. I am having to constantly redirect my thoughts when they begin to travel down the road of "what have I done?" ;-)  NO regrets. However, the transition has not been without heartache. But through it all, I know God is with me and will guide me through this time in my life. 
I know those close connections will come. I am learning to lean on God and trust Him completely. He is my one constant here. When I begin to feel lonely and disconnected, I turn my thoughts and heart to Him.  He is my comfort. He is my calm when I feel like I am about to break. He is my breaker in the storm when I feel like I am about to go under. He is my family when I feel like I am alone.

This song, "Oceans" has become my heart cry here in Suriname. "I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace."  Resting in his arms.... doesn't get much better than that. :-)

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